Scrumptious Homemade Mayonnaise

Do you know what these are?

Yes, I know they're artichokes. But do you know what they really are?

Vehicles. Vehicles for mayonnaise. Vehicles for this mayonnaise.

Creamy, beautifully pale yellow, thick and smooth and tasting of lemons mayonnaise, the kind where, after you've tasted it, you look around for any respectable excuse to eat it.

This was my first attempt ever at making mayonnaise.

It took a fair amount of steady hand whisking to achieve the finished results (so if you already have a serious case of tennis elbow, consider yourself forewarned). But it was well worth it. I will definitely be making this again. Many, many times.

Because thankfully, we have lots more artichokes in the garden.

LUSCIOUS MAYONNAISE
1 t. salt

1 t. dry mustard

1/2 t. sugar

2 egg yolks

2 T. freshly squeezed lemon juice
1 c. oil (recipe calls for "Wesson oil"; I used Canola)

In medium bowl, mix together salt, mustard, and sugar. Add egg yolks and 1 T. of the lemon juice and whisk for a minute or two. Add the oil in droplets, whisking all the while. Keep adding the oil very, very slowly, so it incorporates into the mixture. As it thickens up, you can add the other T. of lemon juice. Keep going until all oil is incorporated.

This recipe was from the exceedingly delightful book Ham Biscuits, Hostess Gowns, and Other Southern Specialties: An Entertaining life (with Recipes) by Julia Reed.

Reed adds a pinch of cayenne pepper, to taste, at the end, but I did not. I also cut this recipe in half, because I wasn't sure how much we'd use or how well it keeps. I will probably cut the recipe in half next time, too.

By the way, after making this I was quite proud of my cooking prowess and thought I'd check in with Julia Child for the inevitable congratulations. Child says that while "you should be able to make it by hand as part of your general mastery of the egg yolk," she prefers to make it in the food processor. She finds this "takes no skill whatsoever."

Hmmph.

Scientific side-by-side comparison: On the left is store-bought mayo. On the right is the one I made myself. Apparently with no skill whatsoever.

Super Simple Chocolate-Orange Truffles

If you happen to have any leftover evaporated milk hanging around -- which you will, if you made this -- whip up a quick batch of these yummy, chocolatey morsels. You need just four ingredients; cute little melon baller and mini cupcake papers are optional.

CHOCOLATE-ORANGE TRUFFLES

1/2 c. evaporated milk

1/4 c. sugar

2 c. chocolate chips

1/2 t. orange extract

itty bitty paper cups, if desired

Bring evaporated milk and sugar to a boil over medium to medium-high heat, stirring constantly. Boil gently for three minutes. Add chocolate chips and orange extract and stir until smooth. (I turned the burner off and did this over the warmed heating element.) Use cute little melon baller, or clean hands, to make into balls when cooled.

Eat.

Beans 'n Bacon

There is almost nothing more fun than poking through an old cookbook. And this old cookbook, published in 1966, is a doozy.


I'm pretty sure I bought it at a library book sale, and have tried maybe half a dozen recipes from it over the years. The recipes are excellent -- easy to make, different, and, as you might guess from the title, economical.

And the text is grand fun to read. This is from the foreword, by Louise Bogan: "Poets are often out of funds. Many times they try to keep body and soul together by eating candy bars, apples, doughnuts, and an occasional hamburger, usually standing up. This is a mistake. Meals should be eaten sitting down."

The dish I made tonight, called simply "Conde," starts with sauteed pieces of bacon and sliced green onions. Add to it a can of kidney beans and a couple of other ingredients, and you've got an inexpensive dish that you can serve with a salad, some fruit, a roll perhaps, and call it dinner.

1/4 lb. bacon, diced
4 green onions, chopped
2 bay leaves
2 1/2-lb. can kidney beans
1/2 c. evaporated milk
1 c. water
1/4 t. gumbo file powder (I didn't have this, and after looking it up online, decided I didn't need to substitute anything for it)

Brown the bacon and onions in large skillet. Add rest of the ingredients except for the file powder and cook over low heat for 15 minutes. Stir in the file powder and serve.

Do you have a favorite "nickel dinner," as author Ann Rogers puts it?

Honey-Oatmeal Bread

Yummy honey-oatmeal bread, which made delicious mint tea sandwiches for lunch. (See this post; and if you've never tried a mint tea sandwich, well, you simply haven't lived. Just sayin'.)

If you have a bread machine, you'll be able to throw together the ingredients for this in just minutes.

1 c. water
1 T. vegetable oil (I used Canola)
1/4 c. honey
1 t. salt
1 c. oatmeal
2 c. bread flour
2 1/2 t. yeast

Toss all ingredients into the bread machine pan and push the little button.

Magic.

Recipe from The Bread Machine Cookbook II by Donna Rathmell German.

Chai (Indian Milk Tea)

Please ignore the muffled sobs coming from this little corner of the blogosphere. It's just me, quietly (ok, not so quietly) mourning the loss of my FAVORITE DRINK IN THE WHOLE WORLD, Starbucks' mocha frappuccino. The company has decided to discontinue the beloved old formula -- which is a whole 'nother matter -- but rather than continue to weep and wail over this sad day in American history, I have begun my quest for alternate wonderful beverages.

And this one's a fine start.

It contains plenty of sugar, making it a drink you'll want to consume in moderation. I'm choosing to call it dessert -- then I can calmly sit and sip my drink in peace.

CHAI (Indian Milk Tea)

3 c. cold water

2 three-inch cinnamon sticks, broken in half

1 1/2 T. loose tea

3/8 c. sugar

1 c. milk

In medium saucepan, combine water and cinnamon sticks. Bring to boil, then cover and boil for ten minutes. Add the tea. Return to boil, then lower heat and simmer, covered, for three minutes. Stir in sugar and milk until sugar dissolves. Cover and simmer for four more minutes. Strain before drinking. Serves 3. (You can keep this in the fridge and reheat in the microwave later.)

Do you have a great beverage recipe you'd be willing to share? Perhaps one that contains sugar, caffeine, and chocolate, she asks with a wee bit of hope in her voice?

This Week's Quiz

So what do you think? Which of the following recently-made dishes was the hands-down favorite, the one I'll be making again soon? Was it the sour cherry-chocolate chip scones, sprinkled with sugar?

Was it the potato, sliced almost all the way through and studded with onions and butter, topped with mushrooms and Parmesan cheese, then wrapped in foil and baked?

Was it the honey-balsamic mixed berry fruit salad?

Or was it the chocolate tea bread, flecked with chocolate chips?

Cue the Jeopardy music here. Doo doo doo, doo-doo, doo doo doooooo. Doo doo doo doo DOO! Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo.

Got your answer? You sure?

Okay, here's the scoop.

The scones were pretty good, but at the risk of sounding like a scone snob I've got to say they were not nearly as tender my regular chocolate chip scones. I won't be making these again -- though I'll definitely consider adding chopped dried sour cherries next time I make my favorites.

The potatoes? These were supposed to be slowly grilled on the barbecue as we roasted a chicken. But we were too engrossed in our weeding and wall-building to get to the store to buy the chicken to roast the chicken to roast the potatoes. So I ended up baking them instead. They were not bad, but I have plenty of potato recipes I like better. Like this one, for example; you can't go wrong with Mom's roasted garlic potato wedges.

The fruit salad? Delicious. A winner. If you guessed this one, you get a million billion points. Sorry, the points are redeemable for exactly nothing. But you get the pride of knowing you were absolutely, one hundred percent right. And how often do you get to hear that in your life? This dish was simple to make and the taste was outstanding -- two of my favorite qualities in a recipe. Best of all, I got to use some homegrown blackberries from last summer I still had stashed in the freezer. I will be making this one again. Soon. And repeatedly.

The chocolate tea bread was definitely in the running, but it crumbled when cut. Big time crumbled. It's hard to serve crumbs, even chocolate ones, to hungry guests. Sorry, chocolate tea bread. You were edged out by this nummy fruit salad.

HONEY-BALSAMIC MIXED BERRY SALAD

2 c. mixed fresh berries (blackberries, raspberries, blueberries, strawberries, etc.)

2 c. seedless green grapes

2 T. honey

2 T. balsamic vinegar

mint sprigs for garnish (optional)

Wash the fruit, drain, and place in bowl. Mix honey and vinegar; pour over fruit and mix gently. Refrigerate until time to eat.

NOTE: This recipe comes from the book The Universal Kitchen by Elisabeth Rozin.

NOTE #2: Rozin suggests serving this in small ripe cantaloupe halves (seeded, of course), one half cantaloupe per person. If I'd had cantaloupes on hand I would have done it; I'll bet it would be beautiful.

Red Snapper with Anchovy Butter

In our attempt to eat healthier, the Kahuna and I enjoyed this Weight Watchers meal for dinner tonight: red snapper topped with anchovy butter, small baked potato, vegetable, and V8 juice with celery stick.

I'm not sure if kids would go for this dish as the parsley and chives leave green flecks hovering suspiciously in plain view. But Kahuna gave it two thumbs up, making it a winner on my blog.

RED SNAPPER WITH ANCHOVY BUTTER

2 red snapper fillets (1/4 lb. each)

1 T. chopped shallots (or garlic)

2 t. chopped fresh parsley

2 t. dry vermouth (I substituted white wine vinegar)

2 t. lightly salted whipped butter (I used soft margarine)

1 t. mashed drained canned anchovies

1 t. lemon juice

1 t. chopped chives

1/4 t. Dijon mustard

With sharp knife, lightly score skin side of fillets and place (skin side down) on broiler pan that has been sprayed with nonstick cooking spray. Mix together remaining ingredients, and spread evenly over fish. Broil, six to eight inches below heating element, for about five minutes, until fish flakes easily with fork. Transfer to plates and pour over any remaining juices from pan. Serves 2. (Recipe from this book.)

Now if we can just steer clear of these . . .